I have sat down a few times to write this blog and I haven't been able to start.
Not because I'm scared about what people will think, cause honestly... I've moved passed the opinions, but because I wanted to be able to tell y'all this AMAZING ending where God paved this beautiful way that was so obvious and we now understand why he had Matt quit his job.
As most of you know, Matt and I felt like the Lord was telling us to quit his job 2 weeks before we were to have our 2nd baby. Crazy? Well, for most, but we so earnestly wanted the absolutely BEST God had for us and I knew it wouldn't come without sacrifice. So, we stepped in the water.
With no CLUE where we would get insurance or even another "job" for that matter... we stepped out on faith and Matt quit. You can scroll down and read it.
So, like any person would probably do, we started to plan out what was next.
My dream has always been to live by the beach. I grew up most of my life by the beach and have a deep desire to one day return. I have told Matt over and over again, "the beach is where I fill closest to God." I want to fill that close to Him again. I know what you are thinking, "God is everywhere! Draw near to Him where you are at!" But everyone just has that place where you just can feel him so close to you. It might be the mountains...might be hiking through the woods... mine is the ocean. And my soul longs to be back.
As we made our plan to go back to FL, God began to shut doors left and right. I truly believe looking back on it, the timing of everything was just not right. It was so crazy how doors shut because we truly felt God wanted us to continue our ministry there. Non-the-less, we are still in NC waiting on God to show us what's next. Here is what we mean by God was shutting doors:
1. 3 days before we are to move, our housing in Florida fell through.
2. At that time, the people who were supposed to take over our rent in NC, their application got denied.
3. The rental truck went up $500 more than what we had budgeted.
4. We fully packed the truck, just to find out not everything fit in it.
5. As we are unpacking the truck, a storm rolls in, and we found out there was a hole in the roof of the truck, and water started poring in on all of our stuff.
6. When we went to take the truck back, the check engine light came on and the oil pressure gage about went through the dashboard!
It was definitely clear, that the timing of all of this was NOT NOW!!
As we moved passed this, there was another possible opportunity for Matt, as a church in GA was looking at him to come on staff. He had went through 4 interviews and they started checking references. We felt like this was it!! Matt couldn't have answered their questions any better! Then we got the news that God slammed that door as well. We were devastated!
I'm not gonna act all spiritual and say I didn't have a few crying it out sessions with God. And a WHOLE lot of doubt as to if we made a mistake. Nothing now was clear.
So, here we are. We knew what God told us, and said "Quit your job, and until you do, I will not fill in the rest."So, Now what?? Well, we don't know! And if I may be so honest, I am not very patient, haha :)
We know what we would LIKE to do, but we want it all to fit into the beautiful plan that God has for us. And until he reveals that to us, we will continue on this journey of faith.
Today, I happened to flip to Hebrews 11 in my Bible. That was NOT a coincidence. It was the faith chapter. I am reminded all the time of Noah's faith, and Joseph's faith, and Abraham's faith... it was NOT a pretty road for any of them. And it goes to show me that until this year, I "thought" I had true faith. But this time we have COMPLETELY stepped out of the boat and began to walk. And this is SCARY.
In a book called Draw the Circle, Mark Batterson talks about "get a testimony". That's what I have to keep remembering when I feel like throwing in the towel on this whole faith walk. He says it's God reputation on the line. And we are just waiting for him to show off in our life!
